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In my adamant antidepression fight, i read websites about "curing heartbreak." For some reason, fizzygirl's suggestions made me smile. And I did invite a friend over for lunch (my best friend here in Berlin). We ate and chatted awhile and ended up watching the film "the diving bell and the butterfly," a film we've been meaning to watch for months now. It wasn't what I expected it to be at all, but I must say that at my stage in depression recovery/fighting, it was perfect. To sympathize with someone that is in a worse off situation than yourself has been really helpful to appreciate what I do have.

Tonight I watched my first (nonamerican) football game, and even in a bar with loads of Germans. Friday, I was questioning someone why so many queers were into football (it was just so counter intuitive to me) and she said I should check it out, so I did. And yea, it was kinda fun. More so listening to the reactions to good and bad plays from the crowd.  We were luckily in a place that's usually a laid back little music venue and not so hooligan oriented, which tamed my fears of off the leash rabid testosterone. It's surprised me how many people are into football here. Even people that lean fairly far left here watch it. The nationalism scares the shit out of me. I suppose it's different since most of these countries are in the EU and it would be somewhat more comparable if US teams were divided by state rather than population density. Not so horrible. But just imagining that many american flags, cheering on the US is a nauseating thought. With Germany as well, it's fairly nauseating and frightening in a different way. (I'd be interested in reading about the relationship between nationalism and fascism). It's one thing to say "we're the Unicorns are we'll destroy you Hippopotomi!" and another to claim superiority by country. I think I'll have to check out a Turkish one as well, just to balance out the idea of football from a Berlin perspective.


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January 2014

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